P A T H E T I C

it's hard to stay strong and tell everyone that everythings fine when nothing is right !!
yaaa, i'm not moved .. can't moved on
i fucking miss him all day , everyday , and he can't even imagine how pathetic it makes me feel because i don't even  know if he miss back
i know i should stop loving you , but i never know how to stopped ?
it hurts to know you will never think of me the way i think of you ..
boy , will you miss me as how much i will miss you ? i think you won't :')
boy , don't you remember , i used be your world , 14 months ?
boy , do you still love me ?
boy , i hate you , i hate that i love you so much !!!
i'm not strong without you , you ... very meaningful for me
thanks for everythings :')

RAINDROP

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain


if you ever leave me, baby,

leave some morphine at my door

'cause it would take a whole lot of medication

to realize what we used to have,

we don't have it anymore.

there's no religion that could save me

no matter how long my knees are on the floor

so keep in mind all the sacrifices i'm makin'

will keep you by my side

and keep you from walkin' out the door.

cause there'll be no sunlight

if i lose you, baby

there'll be no clear skies

if i lose you, baby

just like the clouds

my eyes will do the same if you walk away

everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain

i'll never be your mother's favorite

your daddy can't even look me in the eye

oooo if i was in their shoes, i'd be doin' the same thing

sayin' there goes my little girl

walkin' with that troublesome guy

but they're just afraid of something they can't understand

oooo but little darlin' watch me change their minds

yea for you i'll try i'll try i'll try i'll try

i'll pick up these broken pieces 'til i'm bleeding

if that'll make you mine

cause there'll be no sunlight

if i lose you, baby

there'll be no clear skies

if i lose you, baby

just like the clouds

my eyes will do the same if you walk away

everyday, it will rain, rain, rain

oh don't just say, goodbye

don't just say, goodbye

i'll pick up these broken pieces 'til i'm bleeding

if that'll make it right

cause there'll be no sunlight

if i lose you, baby

and there'll be no clear skies

if i lose you, baby

and just like the clouds

my eyes will do the same if you walk away

everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain

DONE

october 9,2010 - december 23,2011 we're ended our relationship
too hurt

sedih banget rasanya harus sadar kalo gue bukan siapa-siapanya lagi :'(
hari ini gue sm dia sama-sama ngapus foto-foto di facebook,
ngerubah status menjadi single :'( ngerubah bio twitter dan pastinya avatar yg udh sekian lama ga diganti
akhirnya langsung di ganti foto masing-masing
rasanya nyesek banget !!
ga bisa boongin perasaan kalo gue masih sayang banget sm dia
tp sayang keadaan ga berpihak sama kami
terlalu banyak rintangan dari mulai jarak dan agama..
percuma gue pertahanin semua sendiri karna hubungan ga akan bisa bertahan lama kalau cuma 1 pihak yg pertahanin :"(

seandainya dia ga berubah , berubah dr asido yg gue kenal dulu ,
yg selalu ada buat gue , care sm gue , sllu bisa bikin gue ketawa :'D
tapi gue bersyukur pernah ada di hatinya bahkan gue itu cewe pertama yg bisa bikin dia bertahan dlm hubungan yg lama bukan hanya sebulan dua bulan :')

susah banget ngelupain perasaan ini ,nutup semua kenangan yg ga sedikit ini ,nerima kenyataan kalau dia bukan buat gue :'(
our memories just don't make me smile anymore , it hurts too much
ya Allah bener-bener ga tau harus gimana lagi
setiap inget dia , liat foto atau videonya sllu ninggalin rasa sakit sendiri
sesak !!

yg pasti gue bahagia , gue bersyukur pernah jd bagian hidup dia , dia juga ga ngejauh kaya mantan yg lain
he's the best i've ever had :')
i never stopped loving you baby , i just stopped showing it :')
thank you so much for everything you've gave for me ..
still loving you 'till now :')

Ujian Akhir Semester

yaaapp.. ga terasa uadah 1 semester aja gue kuliah
rasanya baru kemarin gue masuk,kenalan sana sini,ordik
dan punya temen-temen baru yg sifatnya rada aneh-aneh hahha
i'm scareeee !!
takut banget dapet IP kecil :(
tapi gue udah berusaha ko ya walaupun ga maksimal :(
gue takut ngecewain mama papa , ga mauuuu
gue udah ngecewain ga dapet ptn dan skrg gue harus bisa nunjukkin kalo gue bisa dapet IP bagus
gue mau mereka senyum dan bangga, walaupun gue ga dapet ptn, tapi gue berhasil di swasta
hah..... cuma bisa berdoa dan berharap ada keajaiban buat gue

hhhhmmmmm..abis uas bakal libur dan bakal kangen banget sama anak-anak kelas
terutama the circus

(rere,gue,dea,deby,ema,yoan)

hahhhhhhh bakal kangen suasana kampus saat liburan nanti

QUOTES

mau berbagi quotes yang gue kumpulin :D
sebenernya tertuju buat dia yg jauh disana :( dan buat gue juga pastinya

stay positive !
make yourself realize that no matter what your problem is,
someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle

boys, please stop playin' with girls heart's
and be the kind of guy you would want  your daughter to be with


PROMISE is a big word. it either makes something or it breaks everything


i'm sure not all guys are the same .
but apparently i'm just dealing with the wrong guys


i wish i was special.
i wish i was that precious for you
i wish i was prettier , so you were that scared of losing me
i wish i was good for you
i wish i was could make you happy everytime :')


*to be continue ;)

this song for HIM

DISTANCE

Sun is filling up the room

And I can hear you dreaming

Do you feel the way I do?

Right now?

I wish we would just give up

'Cause the best part is falling

Calling anything but love

And I will make sure

To keep my distance

Say I love you

When you're not listening

And how long

Can we keep this up, up, up?

Please don't stand so close to me

I'm having trouble breathing

I'm afraid of what you'll see

Right now

I'll give you everything I am

All my broken heartbeats

Until I know you'll understand

And I will make sure

To keep my distance

Say I love you

When you're not listening

And how long

Can we keep this up, up, up?

And I keep waiting

For you to take me

You keep waiting

To save what we have

So I'll make sure

To keep my distance

Say I love you

When you're not listening

And how long

Can we keep this up, up, up?

Make sure

To keep my distance

Say I love you

When you're not listening

And how long

Till we call this love, love, love?

IS IT STRANGE?

sabtu, 10 desember 2011

yaa.. tepat sehari setelah hari jadi kami ke 14 bulan

semuanya bagaikan mimpi buruk !!

kita emang lagi ada sedikit masalah, masalah sepele yang menjadi kebiasaannya

di hari anniv itu dia sibuk banget ga arfrda waktu buat gue,

disitu awalnya..

sabtu itu kita berdua ribut lagi

sampe akhirnya dia bbm buat putusin gue !!!

rasanya bener-bener lemes, sakit, ga tau harus gimana :"(

apalagi kemarin gue lg di crfr, susah banget nahan biar ga nangis

rasanya itu bener2 JLEBBBBB

bayangin ajaaaaaa...

senin dia udah ngebuat gue ngerasa paling beruntung diantara cewe lainnya

dan jumat kita berdua baru 14bulan !!

dia bilang kita itu beda agama, ga akan mungkin bersatu !

kalo emang itu alasan utamanya, kenapa dia ga dari dulu mutusin gue ?

kenapa harus putusin gue disaat gue ngerasa bener2 sayang sama dia ?

disaat semua pengorbanan masing2 udah terlalu banyakkkk ?!!!

kadang gue mikir kenapa Tuhan mempertemukan kami ?

membiarkan kami bersatu padahal semuanya itu dilarang ?

tapi gue selalu yakin dan percaya kalo semua ini udah takdir :)

tuhan pasti udah siapin rencana indah buat kami :")

DAAAAANNNNN

saat gue minta kesempatan ke dia, gue ngemis ke dia akhirnya dia narik kata-katanya lagi :')

bersyukurrrrrr banget karna akhirnya kami ga jadi pisah

dan gue harus bisa ikutin cara dia, harus bebasin dia walaupun kedengarannya itu bad news

tapi apa sih arti pengorbanan itu yang ga seberapa dibandingkan gue harus kehilangan dia

kehilangan perasaannya :'(

ga, gue ga bisa dan ga mau :"(

yahh intinya kami berdua tetap jalanin hubungan ini

Let's sing a song!

DAVID GUETTA – MISSING YOU ANYMORE

Yeah, you've fucked up for the last time

You think you got everyone figured out

We're living in a glass house

'Cause everything's shattering all around

Now tell me, what you're mad about?

I'm tired of all of the nonsense

And if you were to leave me now

I'd probably do nothing to stop it

'Cause I won't be missing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Kissing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Touching you anymore

No loving you anymore

Is that what you really want?

Is that what you really want?

Yeah, you've fucked up for the last time

You think you got everyone figured out

We're living in a glass house

'Cause everything's shattering all around

Now tell me what you're mad about

I'm tired of all of the nonsense

And if you were to leave now

I'd probably do nothing to stop it

Missing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Touching you anymore

Loving you anymore

Is that what you really want?

Is that what you really want?

Now you can go on spit your game, girl

Go, go, go on with your game, girl

Now you can go on spit your game, girl

Go, go, go, go on with your game, girl

Yeah, you've fucked up for the last time

You think you got everyone figured out

We're living in a glass house

'Cause everything's shattering all around

Now tell me what you're mad about

I'm tired of all the nonsense

And if you were to leave me now

I'd probably do nothing to stop it

No, I won't be missing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Kissing you anymore

Missing you anymore

Touching you anymore

Not loving you anymore

Is that what you really want?

Is that what you really want?

kecewa :(

curhat lagi gapapa ya :D

yaaa.. kecewa
dia pulang hari ini tapi ga bisa ketemu :(
yayayayaya gue TAU dan PAHAM 
padahal "dulu" orang yg pertama mau dia temuin itu gue
tapi itu dulu bukan sekarang

heyyyy boyyyy.. don't you know i'm waiting you ?
really want can meet you tonight but you prefer your FRIENDS than me !!
poor me :(
how so difficult to meet with my boyfriend


sama sekali ga tau tentang dia skrg :(
apa ga ada perasaan kangen sedikitpun sama gue ya ?
cuma DI UCAPAN aja bilang KANGEN
hah...

CAN NOT WAIT !!

Huaaaa... i can't wait for tomorrow !!!

setelah nyaris 2 BULAN ga ketemu, akhirnya besok dia pulang :D
bener-bener ga sabar!!!!!!
rasanya mau BANGET ngabisin waktu yang singkat ini..
tapi yaaa ga bisa seenak gue juga sih :(
yang pasti HARUS KETEMU !!!

semoga dengan ketemu gini,
perasaan dia bisa balik kaya dulu waktu masih belum LDR
karna yg gue rasa sekarang,
hubungan kami sudah mulai MERENGGANG :(
terlalu banyak masalah di bulan kemarin...
hmm maybe karna kami jarang ketemu kali yaa..

yaaaaaa intinya ,
GUE KANGEN BANGET SAMA LO ASIDO
pengen banget ngabisin waktu sama lo :')
God , please give more time with him
i really miss him so BAD !!
DECEMBER , PLEASE BE MY MONTH